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主持人台词、主持人开场白、主持人串词大全
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　　I got a D minus. But I read that younger kids nowadays can't even read the analog watches any more. They can only read the digital ones. I was like, how are they gonna report the locations of hot chicks in the future? It's gonna be like, Hot chick, 3 o'clock. I can't stay that long.
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英语脱口秀台词
　　脱口秀不单单只有中国人会欣赏，人家老外也爱听，一起来看看以下的英语脱口秀吧。
　　Hi, everybody. Hi! So I don't have too much time up here, before my green card expires. See I grew up in a poor neighborhood in China. The middle school that I went to one year decided to pave the dirt roads with bricks and cement. And the students were required to bring bricks to school and ...We worked really hard for 3 weeks and finally we built a road. Years later, I heard about the term: child labor. I was like, what?! Those kids got paid?!
　　嗨，大家好啊!嗨!那个……我能表演的时间不多，因为我绿卡马上要过期了。我是在中国的穷乡僻壤长大的。我们初中某年突然决定要修整土路，铺上砖头和水泥，让学生们带砖头到学校来……我们玩命地干了三个礼拜终于把路修好了。多年以后我听说了这个词：童工。我立马就惊讶了，啥?!那些小孩干活还有钱拿?
　　I got a D minus. But I read that younger kids nowadays can't even read the analog watches any more. They can only read the digital ones. I was like, how are they gonna report the locations of hot chicks in the future? It's gonna be like, Hot chick, 3 o'clock. I can't stay that long.
　　我拿到的只是D-。我看报道，如今的小孩都不会看手表了。他们只能看懂电子表。我心想，等他们长大以后该如何报告辣妹的位置啊?别人说，“辣妹在三点钟方向”。我不能待那么久的。
　　So I came to the US for college and I was really into science, which really helped me in the romance department. Like once I asked this girl out and she said, no. I said, are you sure? And she said to me, hey Joe, NO means NO. I said, well... it also means Nitric Oxide.
　　我来美国是读大学，我很喜欢科学，这对我的感情生活也大有裨益。有一次，我来美国是读大学，我很喜欢科学，这对我的感情生活也大有裨益。有一次，我约女孩子出去，她说不行。我问，真不行啊?她说，嘿，Joe，NO就是不行的意思。我说，NO也是一氧化氮啊。
　　And one year, I went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Here's something you guys should know about me. I don't approve of nudity in public. But when it happens, I want to be there.
　　有一年，我去新奥尔良参加狂欢节。 对于我，你们要了解一点，我是不赞同公共场合赤身裸体的。不过要是真有人这么干了，那我不能错过啊。
　　【查字典范文网】
　　And when I first came to the United States, I took a English as a second language class. And the teacher there was too lazy to remember the students' names. So he just handed out a list of American names for us to choose from. And by the time I got the list, there were only two names left, so I just picked Joe instead of Jake. And the other day, I told that story to my son, Jake.
　　我初到美国时，参加了英语培训课程。我们老师特别懒，记不住学生名字。于是他就给了我们一张美国名字表，让我们选名字。等我拿到表时，只剩下俩名字了，所以我就选了Joe。我选了Joe，另一个是Jake。有一天，我把这故事讲给我儿子听，他叫Jake。
　　So my son is four years old now. But he still has a lot of growing-up to do. Sometimes I look at my son, I was like, wow, this gentleman contributes nothing to society. And I have to pretend that I'm impressed by everything he does. I was like, wow, you walked half a block by yourself? That's amazing! But in the back of my mind, I was like, big deal! When I was a kid, I built a road!
　　我儿子现在四岁，不过，他还远远不够成熟。有时，我看着儿子心想，哇哦，这小伙子对社会一点贡献都没有。但我还得装作他所作的事都很了不起。我说，哇哦，你自己走了半个街区?太棒了!其实我心想，这算啥啊!老子小时候修了条路!
　　以上是英语脱口秀台词的相关范文，希望你能喜欢。
英语脱口秀台词大全
　　&The Obamas have a new White House dog. It is a Portuguese water dog named Bo. Bo arrived just in time, because Sasha and Malia were getting tired of throwing Frisbees at Joe Biden.& --Jimmy Fallon
　　“奥巴马一家有了一只新的白宫第一狗，是一只葡萄牙水犬，名字叫波。波的到来非常及时，因为萨沙和玛利亚都对朝乔·拜登扔飞盘感到腻歪了。”——吉米·法伦
　　&How about that Obama dog? They got a new dog. Yeah, a little Portuguese water dog. And the dog, as you would expect, is not house broken yet. In fact, earlier today, he left a bigger mess in the Oval Office than Bush did.& --David Letterman
　　“奥巴马的狗怎么样?他们有了一只新狗，对，一只小的葡萄牙水犬。这只狗呢，正如你们期望的那样，还没有被训练好。事实上，今天的早些时候，它在椭圆办公室留下的一坨屎比布什留下的大多了。”——大卫·莱特曼
　　&Barack Obama's daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking for the economy. That way, if the dog leaves a mess in the White House, it'll be cleaned up by future generations.& --Jay Leno
　　“巴拉克·奥巴马的女儿们非常聪明，她们告诉他说她们愿意像他对经济负责一样对小狗负责。这也就是说，如果这只狗在白宫拉便便，我们要等未来几代人来清理干净。”
　　&Actually, this has become a first family tradition. All the first families have had a dog. The Obamas have Bo, that's the name of the dog. The Bushes had Barney. The Clintons, of course, had Bill .& --Jay Leno
　　“事实上，这已经变成了第一家庭的传统。所有的第一家庭都有只狗。奥巴马家有了波，这是这只狗的名字。布什家有巴尼。克林顿家么，当然，有比尔。”
　　&And you know they have Bo wearing one of those electronic collars. If he strays beyond the perimeter of the White House grounds he gets a little buzz. That's to make sure he doesn't -- no, wait a minute, that's Joe Biden.& --David Letterman
　　“大家都知道他们让波戴上了电子狗链。如果它走出白宫周围它就会有点麻。用这个来确保他不会——不对，等一下，那是乔·拜登。”——大卫·莱特曼
　　&This Wednesday, April 15th, taxes are due, but people who work for President Obama are busy doing their taxes for 1998, '99, 2000.& --Jay Leno
　　“这个星期三，4月15日，是交税的日子，但是为奥巴马总统工作的人都在忙着做他们98年、99年和2000年的税。”——杰·雷诺
　　&Some Americans did a very dumb thing today. They had tea party protests. They've been mailing tea bags to Congress to I guess express their dissatisfaction with taxes and government spending because nothing shakes a politician up like a complimentary bag of tea. 'Hey if you don't straighten up next year, crumpets, buddy.'& --Jimmy Kimmel
　　“一些美国人今天做了一件非常愚蠢的事情。他们举行了“茶党”抗议，一直在往国会寄茶包，我猜他们是想表达他们对税收和政府开支的不满，因为没有什么能比一个赠送的茶包更能动摇一个政客了：‘嘿，伙计，要是你们明年再不改，我们就寄煎饼。’”——吉米·卡莫
　　&And a lot of protests today. Thousands of people had these tea parties, during which they protested higher taxes. But here in LA, it was called the Green Herbal Double Decaf Tea Party.& --Jay Leno
　　“今天有很多起抗议。数千人都召集了各自的茶党来抗议高税收。但是在洛杉矶这里，茶党被叫做双份浓缩绿茶党。”——杰·雷诺
　　&This is like the Boston tea party for people that decided, let's say, I don't know, two and a half months ago, that they didn't want to pay taxes anymore. The tea part is just a metaphor [on screen: a Fox News reporter pointing to boxes at one of the tea parties containing a million tea bags]. Let me get this straight. To protest wasteful spending, you bought a million tea bags. Are you protesting taxes or irony?& --Jon Stewart, on the tea party protests (Watch video clip)
　　“对于那些早在……我不知道，也许两个半月前就决定的人们来说，这就像当年的波士顿茶党不想再交税一样。茶包这个部分只是一个暗喻。【屏幕上，福克斯新闻的一个记者指出，一处茶党抗议需要一百万个茶包。】咱们直说了吧，你们要抗议浪费性开支，然后你们买了一百万个茶包。你们是想抗议税收啊还是在玩黑色幽默啊?”——乔·斯图尔特
　　&This pirates stuff is unbelievable, but the Obama administration is getting high marks for the way they handled the rescue situation this weekend, or the military did. But with all the problems we have right now, who would have guessed that on top of everything else our new president would have to deal with pirates? What's next? A dragon? Ghosts?& --Jimmy Kimmel
　　“海盗的猖獗是让人难以置信的，但是奥巴马政府正被高度赞许，因为周六他们处理营救事宜的事情，要么就是因为军队的表现。但是我们现在面临这么多麻烦，谁能猜到我们的新总统在所有问题中不得不先处理的是海盗呢?下一个问题会是什么?一条龙?小鬼儿?”——吉米·卡莫
　　&And as you know, that captain of the merchant ship that was held captive by three Somali pirates was rescued when the pirates were shot and killed by a group of Navy Seals. President Obama authorized the military to use any force necessary to accomplish this. And today, the CEOs of Ford, Chrysler and GM said, 'We'll build any car you want.'& --Jay Leno
　　“就像你们知道的的那样，被三个索马里海盗抓住的商船船长获救了，海盗们被一队海军击毙。奥巴马总统授权给军队为达成这一目标可以使用任何必要的武力。然后今天，福特、克莱斯勒和通用的CEO们说，‘我们能造出任何你想要的车。’”——杰·雷诺
　　&President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley -- all dependents.& --Jay Leno
　　“奥巴马总统今年应该能拿到很多退税，因为他要养活的太多。AIG，花旗、摩根士丹利——都得他养活。”——杰·雷诺(小编注：美国有退税的政策，一般来说家里孩子多拿到的退税也多。)
　　&President Barack Obama got quite a reception when he was in Europe last week. Did you see while he was visiting Germany, the crowd started chanting, 'Yes, we can! Yes, we can!' Pretty amazing, a bunch of Germans chanting, 'Yes, we can.' That has got to make the French a little nervous, huh?& --Jay Leno
　　“奥巴马总统上周在欧洲非常受礼遇。你们看没看见他出访德国的时候，人们开始呼喊，‘我们做得到!我们做得到!’让人非常惊讶，一群德国人在叫喊‘我们做得到!’这肯定会让法国人有点紧张哈。”——杰·雷诺
　　&The Obamas have a new White House dog. It is a Portuguese water dog named Bo. Bo arrived just in time, because Sasha and Malia were getting tired of throwing Frisbees at Joe Biden.& --Jimmy Fallon
　　“奥巴马一家有了一只新的白宫第一狗，是一只葡萄牙水犬，名字叫波。波的到来非常及时，因为萨沙和玛利亚都对朝乔·拜登扔飞盘感到腻歪了。”——吉米·法伦
　　&How about that Obama dog? They got a new dog. Yeah, a little Portuguese water dog. And the dog, as you would expect, is not house broken yet. In fact, earlier today, he left a bigger mess in the Oval Office than Bush did.& --David Letterman
　　“奥巴马的狗怎么样?他们有了一只新狗，对，一只小的葡萄牙水犬。这只狗呢，正如你们期望的那样，还没有被训练好。事实上，今天的早些时候，它在椭圆办公室留下的一坨屎比布什留下的大多了。”——大卫·莱特曼
　　&Barack Obama's daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking for the economy. That way, if the dog leaves a mess in the White House, it'll be cleaned up by future generations.& --Jay Leno
　　“巴拉克·奥巴马的女儿们非常聪明，她们告诉他说她们愿意像他对经济负责一样对小狗负责。这也就是说，如果这只狗在白宫拉便便，我们要等未来几代人来清理干净。”
　　&Actually, this has become a first family tradition. All the first families have had a dog. The Obamas have Bo, that's the name of the dog. The Bushes had Barney. The Clintons, of course, had Bill .& --Jay Leno
　　“事实上，这已经变成了第一家庭的传统。所有的第一家庭都有只狗。奥巴马家有了波，这是这只狗的名字。布什家有巴尼。克林顿家么，当然，有比尔。”
　　&And you know they have Bo wearing one of those electronic collars. If he strays beyond the perimeter of the White House grounds he gets a little buzz. That's to make sure he doesn't -- no, wait a minute, that's Joe Biden.& --David Letterman
　　“大家都知道他们让波戴上了电子狗链。如果它走出白宫周围它就会有点麻。用这个来确保他不会——不对，等一下，那是乔·拜登。”——大卫·莱特曼
　　&This Wednesday, April 15th, taxes are due, but people who work for President Obama are busy doing their taxes for 1998, '99, 2000.& --Jay Leno
　　“这个星期三，4月15日，是交税的日子，但是为奥巴马总统工作的人都在忙着做他们98年、99年和2000年的税。”——杰·雷诺
　　&Some Americans did a very dumb thing today. They had tea party protests. They've been mailing tea bags to Congress to I guess express their dissatisfaction with taxes and government spending because nothing shakes a politician up like a complimentary bag of tea. 'Hey if you don't straighten up next year, crumpets, buddy.'& --Jimmy Kimmel
　　“一些美国人今天做了一件非常愚蠢的事情。他们举行了“茶党”抗议，一直在往国会寄茶包，我猜他们是想表达他们对税收和政府开支的不满，因为没有什么能比一个赠送的茶包更能动摇一个政客了：‘嘿，伙计，要是你们明年再不改，我们就寄煎饼。’”——吉米·卡莫
　　&And a lot of protests today. Thousands of people had these tea parties, during which they protested higher taxes. But here in LA, it was called the Green Herbal Double Decaf Tea Party.& --Jay Leno
　　“今天有很多起抗议。数千人都召集了各自的茶党来抗议高税收。但是在洛杉矶这里，茶党被叫做双份浓缩绿茶党。”——杰·雷诺
　　&This is like the Boston tea party for people that decided, let's say, I don't know, two and a half months ago, that they didn't want to pay taxes anymore. The tea part is just a metaphor [on screen: a Fox News reporter pointing to boxes at one of the tea parties containing a million tea bags]. Let me get this straight. To protest wasteful spending, you bought a million tea bags. Are you protesting taxes or irony?& --Jon Stewart, on the tea party protests (Watch video clip)
　　“对于那些早在……我不知道，也许两个半月前就决定的人们来说，这就像当年的波士顿茶党不想再交税一样。茶包这个部分只是一个暗喻。【屏幕上，福克斯新闻的一个记者指出，一处茶党抗议需要一百万个茶包。】咱们直说了吧，你们要抗议浪费性开支，然后你们买了一百万个茶包。你们是想抗议税收啊还是在玩黑色幽默啊?”——乔·斯图尔特
　　&This pirates stuff is unbelievable, but the Obama administration is getting high marks for the way they handled the rescue situation this weekend, or the military did. But with all the problems we have right now, who would have guessed that on top of everything else our new president would have to deal with pirates? What's next? A dragon? Ghosts?& --Jimmy Kimmel
　　“海盗的猖獗是让人难以置信的，但是奥巴马政府正被高度赞许，因为周六他们处理营救事宜的事情，要么就是因为军队的表现。但是我们现在面临这么多麻烦，谁能猜到我们的新总统在所有问题中不得不先处理的是海盗呢?下一个问题会是什么?一条龙?小鬼儿?”——吉米·卡莫
　　&And as you know, that captain of the merchant ship that was held captive by three Somali pirates was rescued when the pirates were shot and killed by a group of Navy Seals. President Obama authorized the military to use any force necessary to accomplish this. And today, the CEOs of Ford, Chrysler and GM said, 'We'll build any car you want.'& --Jay Leno
　　“就像你们知道的的那样，被三个索马里海盗抓住的商船船长获救了，海盗们被一队海军击毙。奥巴马总统授权给军队为达成这一目标可以使用任何必要的武力。然后今天，福特、克莱斯勒和通用的CEO们说，‘我们能造出任何你想要的车。’”——杰·雷诺
　　&President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley -- all dependents.& --Jay Leno
　　“奥巴马总统今年应该能拿到很多退税，因为他要养活的太多。AIG，花旗、摩根士丹利——都得他养活。”——杰·雷诺(小编注：美国有退税的政策，一般来说家里孩子多拿到的退税也多。)
　　&President Barack Obama got quite a reception when he was in Europe last week. Did you see while he was visiting Germany, the crowd started chanting, 'Yes, we can! Yes, we can!' Pretty amazing, a bunch of Germans chanting, 'Yes, we can.' That has got to make the French a little nervous, huh?& --Jay Leno
　　“奥巴马总统上周在欧洲非常受礼遇。你们看没看见他出访德国的时候，人们开始呼喊，‘我们做得到!我们做得到!’让人非常惊讶，一群德国人在叫喊‘我们做得到!’这肯定会让法国人有点紧张哈。”——杰·雷诺
英文脱口秀台词
　　A satirical look at news
　　新闻脱口秀：当辛辣遇到幽默
　　In the West, the late-night talk show is a specific kind of comedy-oriented talk and variety show. It includes topical monologues in which the host makes fun of the day's news, comedy sketches and celebrity interviews.
　　在西方国家，深夜脱口秀是一种特殊形式的诙谐谈话类综艺节目。节目包含针砭时事的单人脱口秀、短喜剧以及名人访谈几个环节，其中，在单人脱口秀环节中，主持人会恶搞一些当日的新闻。
　　Watching talk shows is good practice for English learners. While you might get distracted by the intricate plots of drama series, talk shows offer a chance to practice your listening and understanding of humor and the subtexts of the English language.
　　对于英语学习者而言，观看脱口秀节目是一种很好的练习方法。当你有可能会被电视剧集中错综复杂的剧情搞得心烦意乱时，脱口秀提供了一个可以训练听力，并学习理解英文中所蕴含的幽默及潜台词的机会。
　　In the following issues, 21st Century will introduce several popular talk shows. You can get a flavor of the hosts' wit and humor.
　　在接下来的几期报纸中，《21世纪英文报》将会为大家介绍几档热门脱口秀节目。你可以从中感受到几位主持人的幽默与智慧。
　　The following segments of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, which airs on Comedy Central television, demonstrate the satire, criticism, and humor in the host's commentaries.
　　接下来的这些节选片段摘自由美国喜剧中心频道播出的《乔恩每日脱口秀》。从主持人乔恩?斯图尔特的评论中你可以感受到那份讽刺、批判和幽默。
　　1. Jon Stewart celebrated the end of the military's &don't ask, don't tell& policy, which came to an end last Monday. The repeal means that gay men and women can serve openly in the armed forces, and that the 13,000 soldiers who were discharged under &don't ask, don't tell& can re-enlist.
　　1. 乔恩?斯图尔特在节目中庆贺美国军方废除(对同性恋者)&不问不说&这一政策，该政策于上周一被废除。这意味着男女同性恋者能够公开入伍，而那些因&不问不说&政策而被开除的13000名士兵也可以重新参军。
　　Jon Stewart: That's how ridiculous this policy was–the apology for the affront is, 'Alright, sorry, you can go to Afghanistan and fight for your country.'
　　乔恩?斯图尔特说：&看看吧，这项政策是有多荒谬。对于之前种种侮辱与冒犯，这种致歉方式就像是在说，'好吧，抱歉，现在你们可以去阿富汗并为国家而战了。'&(文章注释：这段话中，乔恩?斯图尔特调侃了美国军队废除对同性恋军人的&不问不说&政策。他讽刺说军方废除此政策看似是对同性恋军人的&优待&，实际上却是让他们去前线&送死&。)
　　By the way, they're lucky with the gay people that they discharged from the army–only gay people would remain in good enough shape to be able to re-enlist.
　　&顺便说一下，他们(指军方)应该感到很幸运，因为他们开除的是同性恋军人，只有同性恋们才会保持足够好的身材，能够重新入伍。(文章注释：斯图尔特通过对同性恋的赞扬继续讽刺军方，他说&只有同性恋们有足够好的身材，够格去重新服役&，因为在国外，很多同性恋人群(尤指男性)非常注重维持身材。)
　　2. After Osama bin Laden was killed, US President Barack Obama made a national speech on TV.
　　2. 在奥萨玛?本?拉登被处决后，美国总统巴拉克?奥巴马在电视上发表了一次全国性演讲。
　　Video clip: [Barack Obama: Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world, that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden…]
　　录像剪辑：【巴拉克?奥巴马：今晚，我可以向美国人民和全世界宣布，美国已经完成了消灭基地组织头目本-拉登的行动…】
　　Jon Stewart: As an American, as a New Yorker, you felt like the news couldn't get any better … and then, it did.
　　乔恩?斯图尔特：&作为一位美国人，一名纽约市民，你会觉得这条消息已好得不能再好了……然而，它的确做到了。&
　　[Obama: Today, at my direction, the United States launched a targeted operation against that compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan.]
　　【奥巴马：今天，在我的指示下，军对巴基斯坦阿巴德的一处目标实施了有针对性的行动。】
　　Jon Stewart: What? Not only did we kill Bin Laden, we killed him in Abbottabad? Abbottabad sounds like a name most New Yorkers would have invented for the fictional place they would have loved to kill Bin Laden. Abbottabad. A-bbo-tta-bad.
　　乔恩?斯图尔特：&什么?我们不仅杀死了本?拉登，还是在阿伯塔巴德杀置之于死地?阿伯塔巴德这个地名听上去就像大多数纽约人发明出来的，他们希望手刃本?拉登的虚构地方。阿伯塔巴德。阿~伯~塔~巴德。&(文章注释：对于本拉登之死，乔恩?斯图尔特也不忘发挥幽默，比如拿杀死本?拉登的地名开玩笑。他说&本?拉登在阿伯塔巴德被杀&比&本?拉登被杀&这件事本身更有趣，因为阿伯塔巴德——Abbottabad听起来像个纽约人自己发明的地名，并且在节目里一直用很滑稽的发音读这个地名。)
　　[News anchor: As satisfied as we are right now, we also realize that this increases threats to the United States… In the short term, there will be some kind of revenge attack…]
　　【新闻主播：尽管现在我们感到心满意足，但同事我们也意识到这一事件对美国构成进一步的威胁…短期内，可能会发生某种报复性袭击…】
　　Jon Stewart: Yeah, we shouldn't have killed him. Now the terrorists want to attack us. But you know what, even when they do, you know who won't see it? Bin Laden–because we shot out his eyes and now he lives in a pineapple under the sea.
　　乔恩?斯图尔特：&是啊，我们不应该杀他，这样恐怖分子就会想袭击我们。但你们是知道的，即便他们这样做了，你知道谁看不到这一幕吗?本?拉登啊，因为我们打掉了他的眼睛，而他现在住在一个海底的菠萝里。(新闻注释：关于新闻中说本?拉登死后恐怖分子会进行报复，乔恩?斯图尔特调侃说&是啊，我们不应该杀他，这样恐怖分子就会想袭击我们&。但实际上斯图尔特和其他美国人一样，觉得本?拉登的死大快人心，说本?拉登现在住在海底的菠萝里，本?拉登死后被葬入海里)，借用海绵宝宝的情节开玩笑。)
　　3. Months before Apple's iPhone 4 was out, a prototype used by an Apple product designer was &stolen& in a bar by an editor for the tech-news .
　　3. 在苹果的iPhone 4问世前几个月，某苹果产品设计师所使用的手机原型在一间酒吧里被一名来自科技新闻网站编辑偷走了。
　　Video clip: [News anchor: A high-tech crime investigation team goes to this guy's house – the editor of Gizmodo, bashes in his front door while he's having dinner.]
　　录像剪辑：【新闻主播：一个高科技犯罪侦查小组突入了这家伙(Gizmodo网站编辑)的家。警方在他吃晚餐的时候从前门破门而入。】
　　Jon Stewart: The cops had to bash in this guy's door? Don't they know there's an app for that?
　　乔恩?斯图尔特：&警方必须冲破这家伙的房门吗?难道他们不知道有一项应用就是为此而设计的吗?&(文章注释：自从iPhone和app盛行以来，There's an app for that已经成为英语里的一句流行语，几乎可以用在任何话之后，&去下一个app用吧&，表示app的火热程度。)
　　…Apple, you guys were the rebels, the underdogs, and people believed in you. Now look into the mirror, man. Or, actually just look into the screen of the iPad before you turn it on–it's surprisingly reflective, it's really beautiful. (murmuring) Thank you so much for making this. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Microsoft was supposed to be the evil one.
　　苹果，你们是群桀骜不驯的家伙，长久以来的弱势群体，人们相信你们。现在照照镜子吧，兄弟。或者你们只需要在启动iPad前看看它的屏幕，令人吃惊的反射成像，真是漂亮极了。(低语中)非常感谢你们发明了这个。事情本不应是这样子的。微软才应该被看作是邪恶的一方。(文章注释：Rebel除了指&造反者&，还指&抗拒控制的人&，属于中性词，在此表示苹果公司是与众不同、桀骜不驯的。Underdog表示&处于劣势的一?方&。苹果和微软的竞争由来已久，在苹果产品风靡之前，微软一直都处于强势，以至于乔恩?斯图尔特会说微软才应该是&邪恶的一方&。)
　　…So come on, Steve, chill out with the paranoid corporate genius stuff, just chill, baby. (murmuring again) And, you know your new iPhone with the front camera and video chat, could you send me one of those? It looks totally sick.
　　…&来吧，史蒂夫，先放下那些妄想狂公司推出的所谓天才劣质品，放轻松，宝贝。(再次低语道)还有，你知道，你推出的新款iPhone有前置摄像头以及视频通话功能，可以送我一部吗?它看起来酷毙了。&
01 英语脱口秀台词
02 英语脱口秀台词大全
03 英文脱口秀台词}